my chopsuey

A new Impossible is nothing =)

2010-04-09T22:47:00.003+08:00

Hello WWW! Hmmmmm. Last year I tried to remove something so significant in my life because I was afraid, I let my issues get the best of me. I went back to my old ways; living in sin and doing things the way. I didn't face my issues and problems and most of all I did not carry my cross!!! I let go of the person that made things matter because of my selfishness.

After a whirlwind of so many bad things, I realized that the solace with God was more powerful than anything, he gave me peace, sanctuary and a chance to realize that he did not want me to be bitter, to be hurt, to be judged or to hurt other people....... He wanted me to grow, he created me to love! and sa mga pinaramdam niya sa akin nung isang taon, natutunan ko na ngayon mas matindi na ako magmahal! mas mahal ko pamilya ko, career ko, mga kaibigan ko, partner ko at ang diyos ko!

I'm now a better person and I have realized that I still love the person that I have loved since the JANUARY of 2006! I accept her for who she is!

Sorry for deleting my super cheesy post about you. This is the best idea I could think of to make april 8 better :)

I love you serraisima! :)

Impossible is nothing

the push

2009-11-07T14:09:00.004+08:00

hello world!

haven't written anything for quite sometime now...

here's something on top of my mind, for the past couple of weeks I've been wondering... what's keep me going, what keeps me running this race, and usually this ideas doesn't get answered and I just sleep or get busy with something. This has bothered me for quite sometime because I am the kind of person that gets really ticked if I don't like what I'm doing but lately I realized that even if you don't like what you're doing, you still do it anyway because you want to prove something to yourself and to the world.

well i think this kind of burdening is good because atleast I know that I am responsible enough to think about my life and wise enough to search for something greater and peace. These questions can't be answered by a day of processing in your head, but these kinds of things need some time and a lot of help from different factors both internally and externally.

... I always want to be excellent, but the question is.................................... how will I achieve this in all aspects of my life... hmmmm insights please :)

I lost my vitamins

2009-02-08T22:06:00.002+08:00

For those people who don't know, I have this hardbound book that I have been reading since I was 3rd year high school as a replacement to the one that got lost. BTW, if you don't know, I don't like reading that much especially whole books, i just like to read articles and such...

Anyway, This book has been very helpful to me and has lifted me countless times and also taught me a thing or two! If you still don't know, I lost my bible about two weeks ago in San Carlos Seminary! boo! It is so hassle because so many notes and highlighted verses for different uses like daily reflection, shepherding and sharing stuff. ARGH! It has been my vitamins for many years and it has sustained me well even in the driest and sickliest moments of my spiritual life. Its really funny because now I know how important that book is to me, you see I lost my suunto about two months ago and of course I felt really bad about it... now i just lost a 500pesos book and I felt that my life would crumble because I don't know where I could lean on especially in dark moments.

It's a good thing though that there's companion and while using this easy to use bible it occurred to me that maybe I need to let go of my old one and should get a new one because like broken that we are we need to let go of the things that we are comfortable with.... that's why I think I need to start with a new one and most probably this would help me because I'll have to explore again and be wowed again with the new markless pages. Sabi nga, Tabula rasa! ;)

I'm shopping for a new bible, do you have any suggestions?

What can i do? what can happen?

2008-11-13T06:46:00.002+08:00

Another year is almost ending! Just a few weeks from now, year 2008 will only a part of history. A lot has happened this year, from the soaring prices, financial crisis, oppression, sickness and also a beacon of hope which is Barrack Obama being elected as the leader of the remaining hegemon of our generation today. He said that Change has come to America, will it also come to the World???
Now we can see that all of us have an equal opportunity to be somebody and to be able to cause change in the system and in the society as what this person from the minority has done even if he is still not yet in the office. We can all be part of the solution, somebody has started to make change happen so why are we still just waiting, hoping for luck to come brush into our faces? why not stand up and make something happen???
What can you see in the picture above? isn't it ironic, There is infrastructure in this country but the scope of "un-development" is still much greater, there are still a lot of people who are living in harsh living conditions.
I believe that yes there are a lot of jobs in this country but so few people are qualified for those jobs; I know this because I have experienced this first-hand, I get to meet so many people in a week who are looking for a good job to elevate the conditions of their lives but still the reality is that we are living in a capitalist society and we have to follow so much rules and procedures and most of all standards because we have to make a "PROFIT".

Now I am truly convinced that "fellowship" is not the only way of serving! but there are more things that we can do, we have a mission! especially those who have more! we should share our blessings, we should touch hearts, we should transform lives! because what is the use of being achievers of this country if we cannot help anybody else but ourselves?

I have this big question, can you help me answer it??? How can i truly serve?

I want to be ready for you

2008-09-05T11:15:00.000+08:00

Tired, Oppressed, Confused, Cold, Bitter, Distant and Dry... All These feelings can make a person very hateful and very harsh to other people...

When feeling this lost, I believe the only thing a person can do is to hold on to something or someone who is stronger and greater than he is... to hold on so that there can be hope and no more suffering for that person and his love ones...

"Ready For You"

Lord, You take my heart away with Your love
and I am willing to put on my faith in Your plan.

Come and take my life.
Make my soul refreshed in truth now.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.

Cleanse all of my mind that is not of You.
Break me, teaching me how to find rest in Your hands.

Come and take my life.
Make my soul refreshed in truth now.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.
To come and fill my soul.

Whatever it takes,
I'm needing to make Your will be done
and I'm letting go of my control,
for I see what You've done in me.

I am ready for You.
Take my heart and make me new now.
I am ready for You
to come and fill my soul.

let not darkness eat us

2008-08-05T01:03:00.000+08:00

When everything seems to be dark, when there seems to be no hope,
when feel like giving up, when fear settles in...

Just a little flickering light can give us life and bring us back to the right path :)

Strength in Weakness

2007-12-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness" I will rather boast most gladly of my weakness, in order that the power of Christ may dwell within me. Therefore, I am content with weakness, insults, hard ships, persecutions and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
-2 Corinthians 7-10

Why is it when you are already contented and somehow complacent, God suddenly rocks you and brings you back from that state of euphoria to reality?

We become content when we are comfortable in our "Comfort Zones" and even if life is so toxic and so busy, as long as we are inside our comfort zones nothing really matters. In these comfort zones we lose our true self, we just adapt to what is easy and what makes us happy. parang fastfood, "quick fix"... bakit kaya? dahil ba sobrang takot tayo harapin ang katotohanan or ayaw nating mahirapan?

I think i hide inside my comfort zones because i'm afraid to be weak. I'm afraid that the world will see my weaknesses and persecute me for it. One of my favorite, is hiding behind my masks and the others i can not mention here. Going back to my first statement, yes I was happy and thinking everything was fine because all the parts of my life are in check, pero hindi pala, facade lang pala yun. I was too comfortable in my comfort zone that i didn't notice that some parts of my life were already crumbling. I wouldn't have noticed it until the situation punched me in the face and almost knocked me out, well right now i don't know for sure if that killer punch would put me down for good.

Maybe what happened was just part of the bigger picture? what if God is teaching me to be humble and come back to Him because I have dwelled away from him for a long time now. I've relied to much on myself and now I'm suffering its consequences. I've conquered a lot of challenges before, but this one is different maybe because i know that this would be a great part of my future. I am a scarred warrior who was wounded again maybe because I already forgot the feeling of being weak, humble, timid and meek. I think i forgot to surrender my will to my Lord; I forgot because I thought that I was already in-control of my life and all i needed is myself and my love ones.

I just realized... to be truly strong, you must completely admit your weaknesses... Maybe I needed this jolt to put me back to reality and remind me of my true purpose.
I don't know how i'll do it, but I guess I 'll start by surrendering my weaknesses and hopefully in time he will fill me with strength.

I surrender all I am

Lay my heart within Your hands

Knowing in my weakness

You are strong

As I face this debacle, I surrender my weaknesses and gather strength from you. to grow with you and hopefully be on the right track again. I don't want to be consumed by my weaknesses...

Amen.

Praising in the Storm.

2007-09-21T09:01:00.000+08:00

All of us are expected to mature. we don't have a choice, the world will not wait for us, that's why even if sometimes even if we feel that we're the biggest losers out there or if we feel that the whole world is against us, that is not enough to put your shoulders down and surrender. It could be that there is so much school/work to do, incredible problems, lack of self-belief and many more.

Even if we're in the middle of the storm of problems, we will always have a choice. according to Anthony Giddens, people are agents because everyone has the power to make a choice, the power to make change happen and the power to challenge the system. That's what makes humans great, noble and worthy of God's name; we have the power to make choices. some people can't handle this responsibility that's why they falter, but during these toughest times we have the choice to make the greatest and hardest decisions, these decisions reflect who we really are and how strong we really are.

That's why even if we're caught in the middle of a heavy storm, we should always choose the greater power, the supreme being, our rock, our fortress and the strength of our hearts. The Great I am will bless us for humbling ourselves and raising our hands and make our heart's burst out with worship.

"To whom much is given, much is required." For those who feel that God is picking up on them, you're so wrong. You should feel special and blessed because God believes in you, the one who created you believes that you're strong enough to overcome the storm.

That is the Challenge given to us, to challenge the norm, to face the storm, to praise in the storm. Can you do it? I'm still struggling with it... Can you just imagine how great our world be if all of us will praise Him even if we're in the middle of the storm, why not let change start with you? Be an agent of change, be an agent of change that can help change others. Praise in the STORM! :)

***

I would like to congratulate Ria Macasaet for being part of the Rowing team of the Ateneo. For being blessed with the responsibility of serving the Lord through the YE sponsorship, for modeling and being a great person, student, sister, daughter, partner, friend and servant amidst the busy-ness and the storms... :D

Will stress do me any good?

2007-09-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Last term was the most stressful and intoxicating term that I've ever had. although that much stress pushed me to the limits and made me productive. I think it's called Eustress, when stress benefits you or you become more productive under stress or pressure.

It's only the second week of our term and we're already bombarded with so much stuff to do... will i conquer this mountain or will i flee?

Fight or flee? we always have a choice, to take the easy way out or stand your ground and fight so that you can harvest good fruits from your hard labor... mahirap pero kakayanin, mamahalin para di ganoon kahirap :)

A classic tele-serye story or a fragment of hope?

2007-09-14T07:53:00.000+08:00

From marikina I rode a cab home. At first glance, i thought that the driver would be rude and "mapagsamantala" because he was just wearing shorts etc while driving his cab, but my perception was debunked when we conversed.

Our conversation started when he asked me if I was already working... and then he asked me if I was getting married anytime soon, I said no, "kelangan pa mag-ipon para sa kinabukasan". He answered me by saying, "mabuti yan, ako nga 31 years old na wala pang asawa eh. kahit gusto ko na, hindi pwede, kelangan pa mag-ipon." I realized by the way he spoke, his non-verbal cues and the sincerity of his words that he was not the average perverted and ill-mannered cab driver.

I urged him to tell me his life-story, He's not a regular cab driver, he was just doing it because he's on vacation. He's a factory worker in Taiwan and he's going back there by the end of the month. He said that life is as hard there as here. Taiwanese treat them like dirt and machines; he also told me that, he can't get a better job because even if he wants to be educated they were just really poor. He helped himself finish high-school by driving a pedicab and then after that tried every job out there... so that he could live. He became a kargador and they were paid 1 peso per sack hauled. he became an electrician, plumber, carpenter and driver just to make a living. Now that's perseverance.

the teleserye part of it is that, when i asked him, kuya bakit ayaw niyo pa magpakasal? he said i can't because the parents of my girlfriend doesn't like me because I'm just a driver. They were rich, they had money in the states. He even drove for the ate of his girlfriend. even if that's the case he wants to have a family with his girlfriend and judging by the way he told me that, it seemed that he really loved her and was not just using her to leave his poor life.

The disparity between those who have and those who do not have is getting bigger and bigger as the years pass. I was just amazed that even if that cab driver was at the bottom of the system, where he was treated like dirt. he had the choice to be dirty so that he could make a little more from his passengers and other people he works with, but his principles made him strong and admirable.

People have a choice in this world, to be crooked and rusty or to be great and admirable. I know that he is much stronger than most of the people that i know... it's his optimism and sense of hope that gives him the strength to live his life. everyone has a choice if they want to conform and be corrupted by the system or stand-up and fight for what you believe in.

blogger in the making

2007-09-13T20:57:00.000+08:00

Why Blog???

I decided to blog because i want to make a stand. I'm not just conforming to the fad of online journals, but im writing so that my ideas won't be lost in eternity... i want my voice to be heard.